To carb, or not to carb.

So, in my attempts to get back to 136lbs (which usually results in 14% bodyfat...) I've been trying to modify my diet a lot. The days I'm at work, i eat great. Mostly b/c I have an image to keep at work as 'healthy girl', and honestly, I like eating my salads with tuna for dinner and oatmeal for breakfast (i work odd hours, most meals are eaten at work...) and my veggies dunked in cottage cheese -try it, it's awesome.
But on days like today, when I'm home and I worry about my dad's health, things can slide off track. But I'm really trying to keep my eye on the prize... telling people about my goal gives me some degree of accountability. But it was easier to keep my diet in check when I wasn't living at home. In attempts to save money, I'm with my parents again, and so their not-so-great eating habits are in my face every day. My dad LOVES sweets... especially pastry and ice cream. And while I'm lactose intolerant, I have been known to sacrifice the greater good of my bowels for an ice cream bar.
But when i lived with my roommate, I would buy ONLY healthy, clean food. Chocolate and ice cream never set foot into my sections of the pantry/fridge/freezer. When i would come home to visit mum and dad, all i had to do was go back to MY house and it was 'safe' again. I realize that this is an unhealthy/distorted way of looking at things, almost 'restrictive' as my reformed anorexic friends tell me. But it worked. And damn, my legs looked HOT then. I realize that i shouldn't be focusing on what my body looks like compared to what it DOES... the 70 mile weeks and the 50 metres of underwater swimming and the hiking and biking and skydiving. But like any woman, there is a part of me that is convinced that I'd be so much happier if i were just a size 4.

*sigh*

c'mon, 136!